14 September 2016. 1615 hours. Straight from airport, after a exhausting flight from Far East (Vladivostok) I finished a business lunch in downtown Moscow and followed it with a stroll on the main Tverskaya avenue to stretch myself & concluded it with my favorite cherry-pie & a cup of coffee in an old MacDonald, where we - the hoggs, hogged in university days. With the delectable cherry-pie wrapped colourfully, down its shoulders, alluringly lying next to the dark & handsome coffee mug on a nicely laid out silky white sheet in the tray, I sat down to ensure their union. In my tummy.
No more than a couple of minutes passed before a pretty young girl, asked whether she may sit next to me with her coffee, for lack of vacancy. I welcomed her with her liberal shower of delightful thanks on me. While sitting, she curiously asked my nationality. I happily confirmed being an Indian. I counter questioned her name, introducing myself, and was informed by her that she was a student. All through out the next 10 minutes of conversation I felt her Russian a bit muttering, sometimes (I speak adequately fluent Russian). And at least twice re-questioned her. Ten minutes into interaction with her, I was left balled-over on being informed of her 100% deafness and the fact that all this while, she had been lip-reading me.
On having heard of her inability, I automatically spoke slow & overtly expressive with my mouth, to be embarrassingly pacified by her saying, "please be normal, I am an exceptionally well-trained lip reader. My mom has worked very hard on me". Vicariously, I developed a respect for her mom and calming my strained cheeks, asked about her. Her mother, she said, was a usual loving-mother, who worked two jobs then (one as a real estate manager), so as to afford them both, a holiday in Goa. She was a 3rd year student of biophysics. Having told her about my wife and son, I turned my attention to her lack of words for her father. With an uncanny calmness she narrated that 4 months after her birth, on confirmation by the doctors of her deafness, her biological father had ditched them both; accusing her mother of probably having conceived a lover's offspring, adulterously. His progeny, he believed, could not be disabled. Notwithstanding, her fathers behaviour, I saw a philia in her telling me that she has twice seen her father & that he is an extraordinarily handsome man. Speechless I was, with my lower jaw divorcing the upper. I thought to myself - here is a young girl, apparently having had a difficult childhood and contesting circumstances, yet so much at peace with her reality, devoid of any psychological or emotional trauma, so simply truthful and hence so serene ! I saw a beauty in her that was so absolute, that it was indistinguishable from boldness, truth and compassion all simultaneously - a singularity, that I relish till date. Not in vain, did Nietzsche say, "the kind are the bravest".
Listening to her short story; for the first time in my life, I felt something hot & wet wanting to gush out of me, filling me all the way till my eyes, not only making me somewhat feel my female side, but made me feel her father - "a daughter's father", for those short 5 minutes. For a total of those unforgettable fifteen minutes, that I listened to this beautifully tranquil young woman, I was ready to adopt her as my own. I gave her my business card and asked her to be my desired-guest, on her way to Goa with her mom. I got up, as soon as she finished her coffee and requested to leave. She gave me an unforgettable embrace. We spoke nothing, but I know she felt the father in me as much as I touched my daughter in her. I do not remember her name, not even her face any more, but she shall remain a yellow-orange warm radiant spot on the canvas of my life, forever. Through this note I bow to her, thank her and send her my love & blessings, wherever she is. Unknowingly for her, she became one of my greatest teachers and the most lovable and adorable daughter, even though for 15 minutes.
May be, life is not an orderly jigsaw with aims & targets, but a chaotically-balanced, contrasting, beautiful painting of these yellow-orange, purple, blue, red, green and magenta experiences.
I dedicate this small piece to an acquaintance, whose beautiful & colourful canvas, I have the honour of knowing.
No more than a couple of minutes passed before a pretty young girl, asked whether she may sit next to me with her coffee, for lack of vacancy. I welcomed her with her liberal shower of delightful thanks on me. While sitting, she curiously asked my nationality. I happily confirmed being an Indian. I counter questioned her name, introducing myself, and was informed by her that she was a student. All through out the next 10 minutes of conversation I felt her Russian a bit muttering, sometimes (I speak adequately fluent Russian). And at least twice re-questioned her. Ten minutes into interaction with her, I was left balled-over on being informed of her 100% deafness and the fact that all this while, she had been lip-reading me.
On having heard of her inability, I automatically spoke slow & overtly expressive with my mouth, to be embarrassingly pacified by her saying, "please be normal, I am an exceptionally well-trained lip reader. My mom has worked very hard on me". Vicariously, I developed a respect for her mom and calming my strained cheeks, asked about her. Her mother, she said, was a usual loving-mother, who worked two jobs then (one as a real estate manager), so as to afford them both, a holiday in Goa. She was a 3rd year student of biophysics. Having told her about my wife and son, I turned my attention to her lack of words for her father. With an uncanny calmness she narrated that 4 months after her birth, on confirmation by the doctors of her deafness, her biological father had ditched them both; accusing her mother of probably having conceived a lover's offspring, adulterously. His progeny, he believed, could not be disabled. Notwithstanding, her fathers behaviour, I saw a philia in her telling me that she has twice seen her father & that he is an extraordinarily handsome man. Speechless I was, with my lower jaw divorcing the upper. I thought to myself - here is a young girl, apparently having had a difficult childhood and contesting circumstances, yet so much at peace with her reality, devoid of any psychological or emotional trauma, so simply truthful and hence so serene ! I saw a beauty in her that was so absolute, that it was indistinguishable from boldness, truth and compassion all simultaneously - a singularity, that I relish till date. Not in vain, did Nietzsche say, "the kind are the bravest".
Listening to her short story; for the first time in my life, I felt something hot & wet wanting to gush out of me, filling me all the way till my eyes, not only making me somewhat feel my female side, but made me feel her father - "a daughter's father", for those short 5 minutes. For a total of those unforgettable fifteen minutes, that I listened to this beautifully tranquil young woman, I was ready to adopt her as my own. I gave her my business card and asked her to be my desired-guest, on her way to Goa with her mom. I got up, as soon as she finished her coffee and requested to leave. She gave me an unforgettable embrace. We spoke nothing, but I know she felt the father in me as much as I touched my daughter in her. I do not remember her name, not even her face any more, but she shall remain a yellow-orange warm radiant spot on the canvas of my life, forever. Through this note I bow to her, thank her and send her my love & blessings, wherever she is. Unknowingly for her, she became one of my greatest teachers and the most lovable and adorable daughter, even though for 15 minutes.
May be, life is not an orderly jigsaw with aims & targets, but a chaotically-balanced, contrasting, beautiful painting of these yellow-orange, purple, blue, red, green and magenta experiences.
I dedicate this small piece to an acquaintance, whose beautiful & colourful canvas, I have the honour of knowing.
After dealing with so many cases of child sexual abuse I had almost become immune to most emotions. After a long time today again my eyes are wet. I bow to both mother and daughter. Want to hug them as tight as I can. It is these people who give us hope and strength. Thanks Deepak for sharing such a beautiful and inspiring story.
ReplyDeleteYes Bharti. I was so overwhelmed that for some good time I could not umderstand what happened to me. Talked to harsh same evening but could not put sensible words to my experience. So decided I will write about it only when time has passed and my emotional state has calmed.
DeleteA beautiful and an inspiring story, indeed.
ReplyDelete